By Wendy Lew Toda
Below are the words spoken at a vigil to commemorate the one year anniversary of the Monterey Park Lunar New Year mass shooting on January 21st, 2023.
T
his time last year my emotions were all over the place. Sometimes they still are.
As an artist, I bring my life experiences right into my work, so last January I went into my studio, trusting the creative process to help me hold all that I was feeling. I grieved and I painted that grief day after day after day. Paint and color helped me say what I had no words for. As more time passed, a feeling of resolve - of determination - started to come up. That YES this was a terrible tragedy that never should have happened. And YES I can stand tall, even in the face of it, look it in the eye, and not back down.
Our hearts have been through so much this year. Some of it we have words for. Much of it we don't, and that's okay. The words will come when they're ready. They will come when we are ready. Till then, let's be gentle with ourselves and with each other while we wait and do the work of healing together.
Creating something beautiful out of the terrible. That is my act of resistance.
The devastation that I felt last January 21st slowly found its words - its voice - and became this poem, "Dance With Me".
questions swirl
emotions pivot
flipping
disappearing
changing with the moment
trauma ripping wide
our peaceful community
violence against my people
by one of our own
eleven lives extinguished
other scarred forever
why this destruction?
ceaseless tears
beg the skies
will there ever be a day we can walk unafraid?
Yes.
I choose today
this day
this new year
lift your chin with me
feel all that you feel
stand tall and
take up your sacred space
face into the fear
with a steady gaze
unbowed
my beloved
you belong
I belong
we belong to each other
dance with me
brave and beautiful
because
love
will
win.
Photo on Unsplash
Wendy Lew Toda is a multi-disciplinary artist, poet, coach and facilitator. She works at the intersection of joy and grief, integrating the arts with guided experiences so that those who grieve might find hope. She firmly believes that joy heals.