A Different Dream

By Rebecca Catoe

W

hen my parents upended their whole lives to give me a better one— traveling overseas to start fresh in a new land, 

An unfamiliar place, distant from home, where their native tongue is never heard
where they were looked down upon
and had to humbly let their children be their translators and guides
because English couldn’t flow easily from their mouths.

When they pinched pennies and stretched the porridge,
saving every bit to give me a life full of education and promise—
a life where I wouldn’t have to suffer or struggle the way they did,
but could thrive, achieve, and be successful.

On the days when money was tight
or when they longed for the familiarity of home,
they held onto their dreams for me—
dreams of seeing me become a doctor or lawyer,
never lacking anything, able to care for myself and my family
restoring honor and respect to my family name in this foreign place.
This was the dream that made all their long days
and countless sacrifices worth it.

So I studied hard.
I made them proud.
I showed our gratitude through achievement
and I carried their hopes like something sacred…
until I realized that this
isn’t the calling God has given us.

So, I began to wrestle.
How do I honor the Lord
and also honor my parents?
How do I repay their sacrifices
while also honoring the sacrifice my Savior made for me?
“You’ll bring honor to us all.”
“Honor your father and mother.”

How do I hold these together?
As I sit with that tension and bring it before the Lord,
I sense him whisper,

“You can honor them
by bringing them into your decision,
giving them space to share their thoughts and concerns—
not shutting them down with
‘I’ve already decided’ or ‘God told me to.’
You can honor them by praying over what they say and by holding space for their emotions and wisdom.

“You’re choosing a path different from the dream
they spent their lives holding for you—
and that’s painful.
Give them room to grieve that dream.
Understand that it will take time for them to see
the beauty and possibility in this new one.

Disappointment is not dishonoring.”
Beauty, goodness, and honor
can come from following Jesus,
even when it leads me somewhere
far different from the path they imagined,
When they upended their lives long ago for a dream.

Photo by drown_ in_city on Unsplash

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Rebecca Catoe is a multicultural follower of Jesus with a Master’s in Social Work. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio, where she leads the Epic Movement—a contextualized campus ministry serving Asian American students. She is passionate about contextualizing the gospel and pursuing justice and cultural competency in diverse spaces.

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